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5 Ways to Wean Off Worry

Writer's picture: Yumi ElyYumi Ely

Updated: Oct 22, 2023


"Don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow, focus on making today beautiful." - T. Elliot

Worry is a common human experience, but it can be overwhelming and detrimental to our mental and physical health if left unchecked. Whether it's anxiety about the future, stress about work, or concerns about personal relationships, excessive worrying can steal your joy and well-being. The good news is that you can take steps to wean off worry and cultivate a healthier life. In this blog, we'll explore five effective ways to help you break free from the grip of constant worry.


1. Cognitive Spotlight

William James, an American psychologist, came up with the metaphor of a "spotlight" to explain the workings of human attention. Commonly known as the brain's 'attention center,' the 'parietal cortex' which process and filter sensory information related to that specific focus. This can make you more attuned to certain details or stimuli while filtering out others.

  • As an illustration, if you've recently acquired a Mustang convertible, you may start noticing other such vehicles on the road, demonstrating the impact of your focused attention. Another example, when you concentrate on and hold the belief that you struggle in social settings, your brain highlight and amplify your perceived social awkwardness, unintentionally solidifying this belief and shaping it into your 'truth'.

  • However, the remarkable aspect of our brain lies in its ability to spotlight positive possibilities as well, when we consciously opt to do so. It's as if the brain aligns its focus with our intentions, illuminating those optimistic pathways lead to a deep well of vitality and motivation.

  • A Harvard researcher and a renown author of "Happiness Advantage" Shawn Achor states "when our brains constantly scan for and focus on the positive, we profit from three of the most important tools available to us: happiness, gratitude, and optimism."

2. Seeking Balance

At times, our minds have a tendency to attach on potential problems, a function of the amygdala, which serves as our self-protective awareness center in the brain. The amygdala is involved in brain's threat detection system and when we anticipate problems or threat. It can become more active when we worry, leading to heightened vigilance and the tendency to focus on negative possibilities as a way to protect us from potential harm.

  • How often have you imagined worst-case scenarios, vividly picturing them, and feeling worried? This happens because our 'mirror neuron' system can activate neural pathways, inducing physical sensations like tension and unease as if it's real.

  • Alternatively, you can create new neural networks linked to sense of safety, happiness, and other positive results. When worries intrude, you can offset it by using your imagination to visualize a positive outcome.

  • While it may be a challenge, as you're essentially forging new neural connections, it becomes more manageable with consistent practice. By simply redirecting your focus, you can prevent worries from taking hold before they even begin.

mirror picture mindset neuron pathway woman smile camera
Snap mental pictures of positive outcomes to calm your mindset with mirror neurons.

3. Practice Gratitude

  • Worry often arises from a focus on what could go wrong. To counter this, try incorporating gratitude into your daily life. Gratitude shifts your perspective from what's missing to what you already have, promoting positive emotions and reducing stress. Each day, take a moment to reflect on the things you're grateful for. This can be as simple as your health, supportive friends and family, or a beautiful sunset.

  • Keeping a gratitude journal is an effective way to make this practice a habit. Write down three things you're thankful for each day. By acknowledging the positives in your life, you'll naturally wean off excessive worry.

4. Check the Facts

Breaking habits can be challenging, especially when it comes to worry, which often feels compelling. Remember, thoughts are just thoughts. According to neuroscientist, Dr. Daniel Amen, "our thoughts don't always tell us the truth".

  • Challenge your thoughts and worries. Ask yourself, "Is this really true?" "Is it based on facts or evidence?" Then, consciously redirect your thinking towards a more truthful and compassionate perspective.

  • Instead of saying "I am going to fail this interview." First, ask yourself "Is this thought true?" "Do I know 100%, I am going to fail?" Then rephrase your worries to a new statement, "I cannot predict the interview's outcome, but I am confident in my ability to give it my best effort."

  • Many people avoid being too positive due to concerns about potential letdowns and the belief in being 'realistic, and end up telling themselves fear based thoughts about what might likely to happen. This can inadvertently sabotage the success you're aiming for.

Achieving happiness through a balanced personal and professional life hinges on the establishment of healthy boundaries.

5. Set Boundaries

One significant source of worry for many people is overcommitting and overextending themselves. Setting healthy boundaries can help you protect your time, energy, and mental well-being. Learn to say "no" when you need to and prioritize self-care. Putting others' needs before your own can be detrimental in the long run.

  • It's essential to establish clear limits at work, with friends and family, and in your personal life. This will prevent you from taking on too much and help you find a healthy balance between your responsibilities and your well-being.

  • Don't hesitate to lean on your support network when worry becomes too much to bear. Sharing your concerns with a trusted friend, family member, or coach can provide emotional relief and perspective.

In addition, Break Worries into Manageable Steps

Often, worry stems from feeling overwhelmed by a problem or a goal that seems insurmountable. To address this, break your concerns into smaller, manageable steps. By doing this, you can tackle each component separately and reduce the anxiety associated with the whole.

  • Create a plan or a to-do list that outlines the steps needed to solve a problem or reach a goal.

  • As you complete each task, you'll build a sense of accomplishment and gain confidence in your abilities, ultimately reducing worry.

  • Understanding that no small step is insignificant is crucial; much like marathon runners who once took their first wobbly steps and gradually built up to walking and jogging, every accomplishment, regardless of its size, plays a part in your overall progress.

In Conclusion, weaning off worry is a journey that requires effort and commitment, but it's a journey well worth taking. By incorporating spotlight, balance, gratitude, checking facts, setting boundaries, and breaking problems into manageable steps, you can significantly reduce the grip of constant worry and cultivate a more peaceful, resilient mind. Remember that it's okay to seek help when needed, and be patient with yourself as you work towards a worry-free and happier life.

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